I have been a bad blogger during pregnancy… I was sick for the majority of the pregnancy and was just tired. The common heart burn and indigestion that followed be throwing up.  I admire all that are able to update their blog all the time.  I feel there is a lot of in between that has been left out.  I will have to come back to update.  Right now I will write about the birth, and later on I would like to write about out the last two weeks have been that has felt like one solid continuous day.

So lets rewind to a few days before I go into labor.  Micky surprised me for Valentines day with tickets to the Enrique concert!  I am madly in love with Enrique and originally she said I could not go months ago because she said I would be to pregnant!!  Little did I know she was messing with me and got the tickets.  So three days before I go into labor Micky and my big pregnant self wobbled into the Enrique concert.  It  was the best time I had in the whole pregnancy.  It was the best gift.  He was so good in concert.  I really could care less that I was large and in charge with my belly with all the girls walking around in their three inch heels and there 10 inch in length dresses… LOL.  I sure did not fit in … LOL!  I sang and danced and stood almost the whole time as the contractions started towards the end of the concert and my feet were swelling too.  I was so happy and was feeling normal, almost like Enrique was singing to me.  Some say Enrique is who caused me to go into labor early.

So now fast forward to Tuesday, 1 day before my 37 week mark.  I had a pretty bad night before.  Just not feeling well and not sleeping at all.  My back was killing me.  Micky got up to start getting ready for work and I told her… I keep on getting contractions.  Finally at 8am (since 6am they started) we started timing them… they were between 3 to 7 mins apart.  This was so un-real… so Micky called the doctor and they said go to the hospital!  Uhhh really??? We were so not ready!  Micky packed the bags and we took our time leaving… we even stopped off at the post office to drop off the all the Thank you cards for the baby shower.

After I let my mom know… she reminds me that it was my fathers birthday today (he passed away when I was 14)…. mind you Avery was named after my dad.  Avery is the female version of his name.  So strange!  How cool would that be, I know she is early…but that would be cool.  Avery decided to hold off for the next 49 hours… yes I was in labor for a long 49 hours!

In the last few hours of labor … it was intense.  Yes I got the epidural, but the pressure was so painful. Micky was there by my side the whole time.  Held my hand and helped me get through it.  My water did not break till the doctor broke it … about 45 mins before I delivered.  In the last few hours, there was a lot of blood that I did not see, but I saw the nurses face and Micky’s.  That was scary in itself, when they both have faces of like holly shit that is not right … that is a bit scary.  Then the nurse keeps all the sheets that she had to keep on changing so the doctor could see it.  Finally got to the point of the pushing.  I had to push for about 20 mins.. in the middle of that the kind nurse asked if I wanted to touch Avery’s head as it was coming out of me.  I looked at her like she was nuts… I said no ” I WANT TO PUSH”… I just wanted to get her out.  It was not a walk in the flower field.  The nurse said “no?”… I was like are you nuts… I just want to push her out.  LOL… I was on a mission and that was to push this child out so I did not have to endure the pain I had anymore.

Finally she came and the doctor then realized that all this blood was because my placenta was separating from my Uterus.  Thank goodness that this all happened for a reason.  Avery needed to come early.

Micky and I are so in love with Avery.  We did not believe this dream would come true.  We have gone through a lot to get here and here we are taking care of our own baby girl.  Avery is pretty much amazing!

We had gone to couples therapy years back.  It had tought us a lot, including how to talk to each other and the longer you do not talk about it the harder the situation will be become.  Taking those tools of starting the conversation and also using my tools to listen better to have a better understanding has helped us dig us out of this whole I got us in.  Micky had every right to be hurt.  She was very clear with me not to say something to my mom, but for whatever reason I took it upon myself to go against her wishes.  I learned from this situation big time.  I cannot assume others feelings.  This is hard for me, and is a work in progress.

Things are better, much better!  No not perfect, but when are they?  I feel we got through a big hurdle in our relationship and has made it that much stronger.  Sometimes these bad things pop up … even when you are pregnant that you have to work through.  I feel confident and so much better and more in love with Micky. It’s funny how you feel you love someone so much you cannot imagine it getting any deeper, but it does.

So now onto growing our relationship stronger and preparing to bring this baby into a family that loves her so much!

~Minnie

Well I started this process with hope and the hope became a reality.  As our baby gross inside me I feel this is more real everyday.  I feel blessed to have been given such a gift… a baby.  I love her so much.  I want to have the perfect life and the perfect family for her.  I know this is not very realistic, so I can settle for just a family that will provide to the best they can.  but unfortunately things have gotten tense in the house and I feel the family part is falling apart.

I am sad, my partner is not happy.  She is happy about the baby, but not me.  There was a situation that happened that has caused her deep pain because I had told my mom something she did not want me to tell her.  There is a deeper story of my thought process of why I thought it was ok, but to her this was inexcusable so much so that if I were not pregnant she would be possibly leaving me.  This has left her detached from me and discontinue any loving feelings towards me.  From saying I love you to as simple as a hug with meaning in it.  She has even stop rubbing my belly.  This makes me sad, hurt, and cry.  I am scared and feel very alone.  I am walking around with my big belly and feeling not loved.  It is strange, the tone towards me is obvious of disappointment.  She does continue to ask if I need another pillow or medicine etc.  The most important part has been left out, Love.  I have result to asking my daughter to help with the normal pregnancy issues… tying my shoes, getting the water for the dogs because I cannot bend over.

What do I do at this point?  I can’t believe this is happening.  Everything was going so well and now not so much.  This has made me depressed and just plain unhappy.  As I wrote this blog I began crying and feeling the pain.  I did not realize how upset this has made me till I started typing it.  There are so many things that are going through my head right now, but I feel like this is the last part of my pregnancy that I want to enjoy with my partner and I cannot, instead I am depressed and experiencing the kicks, rolls, and hick ups all by myself.

I have posted a belly pic that I took today… I am 31 weeks and 2 days.  I am too lazy to proof read right now, sorry for any typos or any grammar errors.

I was sick for quite some time and started feeling better about a month ago.  I was really hoping Micky would take over the blog… but that never happened.  So I am back and want to update on the process.

Well I was sick till about 22 weeks.  Zofran was my daily friend.  I continued to work and get through the days on crackers, pasta, and bean and cheese burritos.  I still continued to gain weight, since the Zofran had the throwing up under control.

I have gained now a total of 24lbs since pre pregnancy.  I feel really big now.  My hips have expanded and my sweats do not even fit anymore.  I have had a low body image and it has seemed to get worse.  I feel awful complaining how I look, since this is the most amazing miracle that could happen to my partner and I.  But, it is honest and how I feel.  The only thing I like on me right now is my belly that is it.  Everything else on my I am disgusted to look at in the mirror, including the roundness of my face.

We have decided on a name …. Avery.  We have gone round and round, it was tough.  But we named her and we are in love.  She is very active, once it hits 9pm she is pretty crazy.  The doctor says all is good.  I am starting to have contractions here and there, but nothing to worry about.  My tailbone hurts when I walk or stand.

I will post a belly picture shortly .

Micky has been keeping me updated on everybody’s blogs.  So happy the triplets are all home and that pomegranate is now expecting.  So much has changed in everybody’s lives sorry I have not blogged, but I was just plain sick and tired.

Today is a better day… seems like bean and cheese burritos have been my lunch for the last two days and stays down.  Still cannot really eat dinner, but whatevs.  Thank you to everybody for the comments, it helps to know I am not alone.

Went to the IVF doctor today … stood outside the doors of the office for a few mins, trying to decide to go in the bathroom or not.  I really had to go pee, but had that feeling of getting sick… the mad dog syndrome where your mouth fills up with saliva.  I just did not want to see that public bathroom toilet.  Public bathroom toilets make me immediately want to gag.  It’s like they are talking to me…and say hey lady puke in me it will be great.  I did decide to go pee, and I managed to not make complete eye contact with the toilet.  I told the toilet to stick it and I was able to pee and did not gag and get sick!  We made it in the office without incident.  Today we hugged our IVF doctor goodbye with a picture in hand and the sound of the heartbeat in the back of our minds.  It was a great day, but sad we are leaving.  We had an awesome doctor and he liked us too.

After this appointment I met up with the nurse of our future OB, which has the male version of my partners name.  Fate!  The nurse was really nice.  She went over everything and she knows my life story now.  The intake was insane.  She spoke to me about the genetic testing and another test to test for chromosome issues.  That freaked me out… another thing to worry about?  another test to wait for?  When will the worry go away?  I feel as soon as one worry is set at ease, they just add another one.  We see the actual doctor tomorrow and no more up the who ha ultrasounds anymore!!

On another note… can these boobs get any bigger!

Micky is bored and I know she is not liking the staying at home almost at all the time.  I seem to muster the energy to go to work and suffer.  By the weekend I can barely get out of bed.  I know it is not fair to her, so I tell her to go out without me.  She does not go.  I feel like she is angry with me, but she says she is not.  I have definitely noticed her distancing herself from me… I am sure between the throwing up and me being shitty, who wants to be near me.  I miss the kisses and I miss the cuddling… it has disappeared.  I just want to cry.  I feel no one understands how I really feel right now.

On a good note my lovely daughter knows now and is super excited.  We felt it was time, especially with me being so sick and tired.  We told her we had news for her and she asked if we were adopting!  So cute.  She asks me now how I feel and gives me a hug and says poor mommy it will get better.  She has heard the horror stories of when I was sick with her…

We see the IVF doctor tomorrow and then off to OB doctor that is supposed to be the best in LA.  The wait is supposed to be a few hours just to see him.

Sorry not so uplifting here

Last week we went on a camping trip and that is when the morning sickness decided to hit me full force.  It is no fun to have to ride your bike to the bathroom about 4 times in the middle of the night and then to full like you are going to puke at any given moment while camping.  I made it through and still was able to relax.  Micky hated it!!! First official camping trip for her… she was no happy camper.

I am super tired and sick these days and over the weekend I almost fainted while meeting a mom of one of C’s friends.  In the middle of our conversation I am thinking OMG I am going to throw up…oh know I think I am going to faint.  What do I do..what do I say.  Well I had to jump into action fast before I passed out.  I just invited myself to sit down at the kitchen table and said I was getting hot, must be all that un-packing we have been doing for camping!  Now I know … no standing for more then 30mins or else!

We saw the doctor a few days ago and convinced Micky to say something about me being sick and is there anything to relieve me the symptoms of  dry heeving and the vomiting spells along with my hot flashes!  Just not feeling well.  I seriously almost broke down a few nights ago  having to do the progesteron shot, when I fealt like shit already.  I wanted to cry… meanwhile I asked Micky to please rub my butt because it stings.  Looking back was probably funny, but I was not in for laughs last night at all.  The doctor has now switched me to the suppository once a day… I am welcoming it with open legs…LOL!!!  He also prescribed Zofran.  The Zofran worked really well.  I took one that evening and was feeling well all day yesterday.  I have not taken one since and I am feeling pretty crappy again.  Can’t wait to go home and take some more magic drug.  Micky said she fealt bad asking for the drug, because this is what we asked for.  SHIT… if there is a drug to help me feel better…. please do not feel bad….. telling it like it is.

No plural in baby in the title above… we are on schedule for ONE baby!  I am happy… I was worrying about a lot if we had more then one.  Micky is a little disappointed and was really wanting more then one for a few reasons… one being that there would be more chances of possibly having a boy.  Second reason is so the baby would have someone to play with.  She is convinced the baby is a girl and needs to come up with some more girl names.

Symptoms:  Sick / burping like a truck driver / tired /  being a Jerk

Cravings:  Mash potatoes and noodles … Carb city

Anything to relieve morning sickness?… NO!  I tried it all.. crackers, ginger, sour stuff (this helps while sucking only)… Wait the Magic Drug works!

Ohhhh ohhh ohhh… how could I forget regarding the subject line… looks like Prop 8 was overturned!  Yay.  We are super excited and have already started our wedding list.  I actually know Paul and Jeff one of the couples that testified and it is crazy how much hard work they put into this!  I am so happy they helped fight the fight for the rest of us.

Picture of our baby … baby is between the two hearts.  We saw the heartbeat!  That was way cool.  Baby measures the exact size of how far along I am and its hearbeat 150bpm.

Shout out to Turtle!  Congrats on your scan too