TTC – Lesbian


Maybe 20 mins after I wrote my post yesterday… I went to the bathroom again and there was a blood clot that was about a quarter size.  I text Micky and said I am headed to the doctors.  I could not stress myself out by wondering if I just lost the baby.  I told Micky to call the office and let them know I decided I was going to come in to do blood.  

I was shaking and thought I was going to throw up.  I was so upset… thinking that it was all coming to an end.  The first and second beta meant nothing.  I guess it is not a sure thing getting those numbers.  I was on a major downward spiral.  Micky called me and was going to meet me at the doctors office even though I was just getting my blood drawn.  She talked to me the entire 45 long mins. it took me to get to the doctors.  The doctors office offered for me to get my blood drawn at a local lab, but I thought no you need to fix this … I am coming to you.  Stupid, I know.  The office called us while we were on our way and said the lab closes at 4:30 and we would not get our beta number till the next day… are we sure we still wanted to come there.  YES!!  I just felt like their lab would be the best and I needed comforting from the nurses.  I needed someone to tell me what was really going on.  If I was having a miscarriage what would I expect or is this the first signs.  I needed hope or I needed the real truth of what the hell was going on.

Once we got to the office everybody was soooooo nice and very positive.  That some women bleed and I guess several women on the Crinone were experiencing the same problems, but they were fine and they maintained the pregnancy.   As were getting the blood drawn the lab lady came by and probably saw the fear in my face.  She said I can run your blood today … you will know today.  It will take about 45mins!  Then she looked at the nurse and said to not draw a lot… she needed just a little to do the test.  Micky and I said “really??!!!???”  and then Thanked her a million times over.  Almost like she saved this pregnancy … as we all know that is not the answer.

Once we stepped out the Angel nurse that Micky and I LOVE… said lets switch you to the progesterone shot.  It seemed to calm things down in the other patients and she continued to tell us how she was not liking the results they are getting from the Crinone.  It is causing to many problems.  She asked me if I would be ok switching… I said YES… just fix this… save this baby that I have already started to love.  I know I should have not had my hopes up… but I did.

We left the office still on edge.  At this point I was only spotting and the blood was dark brown.  Still had cramping.  Angle nurse said that the cramping was ok and I had a lot going on down there.  We live about an hour away from the office so I drove home and Micky drove back to work.  I was not going to go back to work… I was a hot mess.

I got the call from the office on my way home and our beta was 3700!!!!  The nurse said they would expect it to be about 3200 and I was way above.  They are really happy with the number and take it easy and to call if I start bleeding heavy with heavy cramps!!  I am Jewish… but all I could think in my head at that moment is Hallelujah, Halle-freaking-lujah!!!!!!  I called Micky and she was happy with the number, but seemed removed.  Situations like this (disappointment) she does not handle well.  The rest of the night she seemed detached and emotionally exhausted. I felt really bad.  I had cramping for the remaining of the night.  I woke up today feeling pretty good.  Went through my pregnancy checklist… boobs hurt -check, peeing through the night – check, boobs weigh a ton – check, and an added symptom today… indigestion  CHECK!!.  

I love my girls soooo much! The love between the two of them warms my heart!!!

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Ok .. so if you do not want to know the all the juicy stuff don’t read this.  With our first IVF I did injectables for the progesterone.  This time around we did the suppository’s.  Why?? Not sure… but is a slimy cottage cheese MESS!  Yes it is all worth the baby making adventure.  But, Holly Cow I never realized how painful it could be.  

Last Saturday started experiencing weird stuff when going tinkle and then noticed blood.  Well, by Monday I had a UTI and Kidney infection.  The pain was almost just as bad if not worst then child birth.  I really thought I was going to loose my little baby that had implanted itself because of me bending over in pain and hyperventilating.

My doctor put me on antibiotics and I took a over the counter pain med for UTI that worked like a dream, but had me peeing every 10 mins and equaled to a few accidents (no control).  It was an awful experience  but now I know.. the minute you feel funny when you pee and a little twinge… get on the antibiotics ASAP and don’t try to be the whoha superhero!! Just saying…

 

So for the last 6 months I had been working out with a trainer… Eating right to get the remaining baby weight off. I did that and then some. It was like I was working out for a marathon. My marathon was the goal of preparing my body of 10 months of baby making. Today I walk on a treadmill at a very slow speed as my partner continues to workout with the trainer for her marathon of hopefully taking care of her pregnant whinny woman and stepping up as I slow down. I am lucky. Today I realize how lucky I really am. I cross my fingers this sticks. In my heart of hearts I feel something is different. Can’t put my finger on it, but something is different.

The test that I took today the line was the same color… Not darker like the time before with Our little munchkin. Why?

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Did we make this happen again? I am feeling ok. I have been traveling for work so I am pretty tired. Took the pee test and I was sure it would be negative, but it was positive! So many thoughts are going through my head. I am excited but scared. The beta test will be Monday.

Well I am a day and half past FET. Freaking out because I am cramping. I don’t remember this last time. Frustrated that I did not document my symptoms. Second guessing me going to a picnic today…. Ughhh. Yes I am blog stocking others to compare symptoms.

Nighty night

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I could not resist the process. Yes, I dropped off the blogging world since our little Miss Miss was born. Micky and I are stronger then ever. Today we transferred two of our frozen eggs and we are keeping our fingers crossed we will have another miracle.

Our little Miss is now 18 months old and a little 20lb peanut. C (big sister) is a third mama. So cool to see the sister love.

This time around was so much easier. Not having to grow eggs like a chicken and not having progesterone shots was nice. We now are doing the progesterone cream twice a day and estrogen shots 2X a week.

Seems like all the bloggers I followed are going strong. I need to update my roll call.

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